Is there a Right Way to Pray? (Part 1)
Is there a right way to pray?
First, before I say anything, I will be the first person to admit that I am accountable to my own criticism. Secondly, if you can understand in the sense of evaluation for the purposes of improvement or growth, I believe what I am about to describe will be most helpful in how people who profess to be Christians can be praying with a purpose.
Prayer is essential to any religion. But it is distinctively a transformative practice for Christians, who pray as a means of talking to and hearing from a living, personal, and relational God in tandem with His written Word, the Bible and the exposition of it through the church and other Christians by the guidance of His Spirit. If you think prayer is just merely a utility of meditation, think again.
Christianity is not that simplistic. All other means of prayer in other religions are, however, meditative and relegated to one's self. You can pray to Allah, you can try to be one with nature, but there's really no one on the other end. Christianity really is that distinct and unique in that regards. Personally, it would only make sense to me that my life has purpose because it was created, not by accident, but by a personal Creator who is still active and relational in nature. If you were an accident, or a product of random, scientific phenomena then everything between birth and death is also just trivial, random, and accidental. Moreover, if you don't believe in absolute truth, it's quite the oxymoron to strongly believe in something you can't believe. But there's still that longing for purpose and meaning in all of us, and I just don't know where you'd find it outside of a Creator God.
All this to say, in my world I have a lot of people asking for prayer.
"Pray that I will get this job!"
"Pray that I will get into this school."
"Pray that God will help me to find a significant other."
"Pray that things will change."
These are what would be considered "want" prayers. There's something going on that you feel is beyond your control or has varying degrees of uncertainty that is creating anxiety that is beyond your ability to cope. They can sometimes be trivial, like praying that you'll get an A on your next midterm or they can be very real in the sense of asking for direction and guidance when significant choices need to be made.
But if we believe in a real God--who is very personal, who knows us and knows the breadth of our lives--then why do many Christians (including myself) spend most of their lives praying a majority of their prayers in "want" form?
It should be mentioned, however, that many prayers start off as "want" prayers--wanting guidance for this or that, wanting certain things to materialize, etc.--but if we stay there are we really growing in our relationship with God? Doesn't it go without saying that God knows what we want, but wants what we need for our lives.
Consequently, we often get stuck in "want" prayers because of anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and a plethora of other reasons that ultimately revert our attention not to God but to ourselves. But it goes without saying that in any relationship and especially in terms of growth, you are always going to start in that place. Don't feel guilty, it's part of the process of growing.
But, if you're still stuck on "God I want this... I think I need this" and don't get to the place of "God, you know, but I don't and it's because..." it's time to re-evaluate your prayers and see if you're really praying them as an instrument to get what you want or an indication that you are growing in a relationship with Christ.
