When I Don’t Feel Like Giving…
I reluctantly signed up for Angel Tree after a friend encouraged me to do so. I'm a pastor. I tithe, I give offering, I donate, I give to causes all the time. It's not like I have a surplus financially. The last thing I need is another cause to give towards.
But I got a serious dose of humble pie the other day while shopping for my Angel Tree gift.
If you don't know what Angel Tree is, it is a ministry towards the families and especially the kids of prisoners. Basically, sponsors buy gifts on behalf of the father/mother who is in prison and delivers them to their families for Christmas.
I was reluctant to sign up for a few reasons, and I'm just being totally honest here:
I'm already giving! - Seriously? Another cause? There are so many causes in this world! I can't possibly give to yet another one.
Are others giving? - I can't be the only person thinking this, but whenever someone asks me to give to cause, I often wonder, "Aren't there other people that can...?"
This can't possibly make any difference! - A few things came to mind related to this thought. First, I don't even know who this gift is going to. Secondly, what's a gift going to do? Thirdly, if I'm going to spend some money on this, I'm going to want to know that it's going to be either well received or well used.
But as I walking around with my cart, the conversation I was having in my own head was rudely interrupted by God. (Seriously, God?!? Why would you ascribe it to God?) No, really. I'm a good guy, but I'm not that good. Things like this, only a good and loving God could compel me to do through His grace.
This is what I started to realize:
I can give - Just the fact that I can give is a privilege. We all come into this world with nothing, then we accrue some things, then we think that we can't afford to lose or share those things. What's the first lesson we all learn as kids? Sharing. What I have is not mine anyway, so why not give it than lose it in the end.
God gives - ... and He gives and He gives and He gives and He gives. Am I that audacious to think that I could possibly outgive God? If I'm going to compare myself to anyone else, I think I have to do it in light of Him.
You can choose to make a difference - How many gifts has God given me that I have ruined by my negligence or ingratitude? Yet, He loved me... and it's made all the difference. I may not know the toddler that these gifts are going to, I may not even know if they are thankful or not, I don't even know much this matters to the family. But, instead of thinking about what I cannot influence, what if I could do something to convey and communicate the love that's changed me.
How can I not give when my Savior came not to serve, but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45).
